4 Anti Valentine’s Day gifts for him & 4 for her
By Dr. No love
? With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I can easily imagine that buying a gift for Valentine’s Day can be a real pain. There are so many weird and many times trashy gifts waiting out there to be picked that it makes it super difficult to find something nice and charming, right? Ok, enough said. To be honest with you, I’ve never liked Valentine’s Day: bunches of red balloons and teddy bears holding hearts all added up to this reddish/pinkish nightmare make me want to jump from a skyscraper’s top floor. Yep, you got it right. I am a Valentine’s Day hater. I picture myself as a sort of Valentine’s day vigilante. Sometimes I even imagine myself chasing down self-celebrating lovers to destroy their cheesy balloons and smelly flowers (come on! I’m just kidding!). NOOOOOT!
So guess what? I decided to pick the best 4+4 budget anti-Valentine’s Day gifts for my fellow haters. You can either buy one of these gifts to tease your partner in love or just because they deserve it!
1. Boyfriend Body Pillow | £8.08
This can be one of the best anti-Valentine’s gifts ever. It’s not just a pillow for the cold lonely lights. It’s the classy boyfriend you have never had and that finally you can have – with the only limitation that it comes in a (comfy) pillow shape. Find it on Amazon for £7.99 + free UK delivery.
2. Girlfriend Body Pillow | £24.58
Is your partner complaining that you don’t hug him/her anymore? Then the Girlfriend Body Pillow is what you’re looking for! Find it on Amazon for £18.66
3. F@#! Necklace | £21.53
If you are more the romantic type and you want to buy your partner some jewellery, then this object is what you’re looking for. Women looooooove jewellery! A beautiful vintage style necklace with an honest wish from deep inside your heart will be the perfect gift for her. Find the F@$! Necklace on Etsy.
4. Ick Mug | £8.99
Is he drinking a loooot of coffee and always leaving dirty mugs all around the house? Does he enjoy drinking tea or hot chocolate, but he always complains that there aren’t any clean mugs around? His name is Nick, Rick or Mick? In any case, this mug would suit perfectly to any type of D!@#. Find it on iwantoneofthose.com for £8.99.
5. Grow a Boyfriend | £3.98
She says: “You are not for me! You always hang out with the boys, you never have time for me! You always snore! You don’t listen to me, you don’t consider me! I deserve a better boyfriend than you………….” What can you do about it? Just give her the perfect boyfriend! Find it on Amazon for just £3.98!
P.S If she complains that the new boyfriend you got her doesn’t ride a white horse like her dream prince, then buy her the bloody Horse too. Seen below, it costs just £16.99 and they offer free delivery in the UK.
6. Grow Your Own Pornstar | £2.71
Does your boyfriend often disappear all of a sudden and then appear with a big smile on his face? Do you want your boyfriend or hubby to stop watching adult movies? Then just let him grow his own pornstar. Find it on Amazon for £2.71 + free UK delivery
7. The Break-up Survival Kit: Emotional Rescue for the Newly Single | £0.85
She likes reading books? She also likes drama? Then buy her the break-up survival kit. Find it on Amazon for £0.85 + £2.80 UK delivery.
8. You’re the worst | £3.58
If your partner loves to communicate via post although you both live in the same apartment… Find the card on Etsy for £3.58.